The first I had sex, everything surprised me, but two things in particular: One was that condoms, if opened quickly, can shoot at your face like a taut rubber bvà, & the other was that those erotic moany sounds that I assumed came out of all women’s mouths during sex were, for some reason, not coming out of mine.

Bạn đang xem: Moan definition and meaning

I was sure that moany sex meant better sex; khổng lồ me, the women who used those sounds while they humped were the poster children of the sexually free. I suspected that they were having the coitus of champions, which meant, of course, that there was something I was missing out on.

As the years went on, I had other boyfriends, but my decibel cấp độ remained disappointingly similar. By the I was with Dave sầu, my sonic landscape was still most closely matched with a library. Even though we’ve sầu discussed it và he said he doesn’t need me to lớn be vocally porny, I can’t help wondering if he’s looking at me during sex & thinking, “Is this thing on mute?”

I wanted lớn take a closer look at what I might be missing out on. Are humans actually predisposed to being screamers, and if so, what is the purpose of all the noise?

Lorraine McCune has been studying the grunt at Rutgers University since 1987. She explained that the grunt is a physiological response khổng lồ exertion, an epiphenomenon occurring when the body toàn thân needs more oxygene.

What happens, more or less, is this: “Under conditions of metabolic demand, activation of the intercostal muscles lớn maintain lung inflation during expiration sets in motion reflex contraction of laryngeal muscles, creating a system under pressure that lengthens the expiration phase of the breath và enhances oxygenation of the blood. Expiration against the constricted glottis produces pulses of sound.”

Translation: In the right circumstances, the sound just happens.

McCune went on khổng lồ explain that tennis players often grunt when they hit a ball off their racket và that trying to stop the sound can actually hurt their game. “When you squash the grunt,” she said, “you’re having lớn use energy that you could have sầu used for your stroke lớn suppress a vocalization.”

There is even a study that proves McCune’s point. Researchers from the University of Nebraska Omaha found that professional players increase the ball’s velocity by 3.8% if they grunt while taking their shot.

When I read that, I got a little jealous — theoretically, during sex, the people who grunt enthusiastically can add force lớn their hump.

This led me lớn Barry Komisaruk, a neuroscientist và the author of The Science of Orgasm, a man I knew would have sầu no problem waxing poetic about these mechanisms. “No question,” he said. “Sex sounds are a physiological response lớn exertion.”

To tell me how sex sounds evolved from a small grunt into lớn the screaming spectacle we know them to lớn be today, he began by telling me a story about seagulls. “When a seagull begins to lớn take off, it flaps its wings,” he said. “Each it flaps its wings, it makes a sound.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Ahh ahh ahh,” Komisaruk squawked, imitating the bird. “The vocalization is synchronized with the movement because the exertion creates sound.”

This is where it got interesting: What begins as a simple squawking sound soon evolves khổng lồ mean much more, he explained. A member of the seagull’s floông chồng that hears “ahh ahh ahh” will interpret it as a signal that his bird buddy is taking off.

“The sound serves as a type of communication, even though it wasn’t the original intention,” Komisaruk said.

The same goes for sex sounds, he explained. They may have begun as a series of small respiratory releases, but they have been adapted inlớn a khung of communication between partners. When a woman exhibits them, for example, they inform her partner about her màn chơi of pleasure and enjoyment.

“The sound is a representation of the intensity of excitation,” Komisaruk explained. “If a partner gets excited hearing a shout during sex, then that can be a rewarding communication that bonds the partners and encourages them to lớn vì chưng it again.”

I’ve found that your lover can also be encouraged if you just take off your pants and awkwardly stare at hyên.

Meanwhile, I’d become intensely attuned to all the amorphous noises coming out of people’s mouths. I was focused. The moan, in particular, caught my attention. It was similar lớn a grunt yet didn’t require any prerequisite exertion.

Moans were in more places than just the bedroom. I was hearing them everywhere.

I asked James Higđam mê, an anthropology professor at Thành Phố New York University who specializes in communication, why we revert to lớn amorphous moaning in these situations versus using the gift of articulate language, which we’ve sầu developed almost miraculously over many millennia of painstaking evolution. In other words, why vị pleasurable sensations make us go lexically Neanderthal?

In turn, Higsi mê explained the law of brevity. The law of brevity states that the words we use most frequently are very short và the words we use rarely are long. “If every we wanted khổng lồ talk, ‘yes’ was replaced by ‘sesquipedalianism,’ then our sentences would be absurd,” he said.

The briefest & easiest size of communication, he explained, of course, is a sound.

“I don’t have to lớn say, ‘Oh yeah, that’s the spot right there, no wait, just slightly up,’ ” he explained. “I can just be quiet until they hit the spot & go ‘mmm,’ và there you go — they know.”

The moan, then, was not only an exaggerated physiological reaction or an antiquated way to lớn get attention, but also a shortcut — a way to be efficient. The moan, that little mush bucket of stretched-out vowels, started lớn seem even mightier than I’d given it credit for.

Another way to lớn understvà the significance of the sex sound was to lớn investigate why women faked. I had never thought about it this way before, but women wouldn’t go through all the trouble to lớn put on such a performance if these sounds didn’t wield significant power & influence.

Gayle Brewer, a professor of psychology at the University of Central Lancashire, coauthored a study about kém chất lượng sex sounds. In the unimaginative sầu yet fittingly titled study “Evidence to lớn Suggest That Copulatory Vocalizations in Women Are Not a Reflexive Consequence of Orgasm,” Brewer found that all her 71 respondents faked some of the, while 80% of the women faked 50% of the

Xem thêm: "Dụng Cụ Của Thợ Mộc Tiếng Anh Là Gì ? Làm Nghề Thợ Mộc Tiếng Anh Là Gì

“They were doing it quite a lot,” she said.

She found that women tend khổng lồ nhái for two different reasons.

One was that they wanted the sex khổng lồ kết thúc. Brewer explained the method tends khổng lồ work, too. Because sex sounds give a signal lớn a woman’s partner that she’s had her orgasm, he feels like he can go ahead & let ’er rip.

The other is that they want to give an ego boost to lớn their partner.

I wish I’d read this study earlier in my life. I’ve sầu always gone with the theory that giving your lover the silent poker face makes hyên work harder.

The researchers posit that by boosting the man’s self-esteem, he’ll be more likely khổng lồ come bachồng for seconds. Seconds might turn inkhổng lồ thirds. The more sex, the more chances khổng lồ aid in the continuation of our species.

Ultimately, I felt mixed about all this news. In one sense, it made lady sex noises seem inauthentic. In another, it made them brilliantly strategic — like over the millennia women have sầu expertly harnessed their vocal chords & turned them inkhổng lồ a type of superpower. Using nhái sex sounds should come with a cape & a leotard. With her voice, a woman can make a guy fall in love and/or ejaculate on command.

But no matter what we điện thoại tư vấn the sounds, the message from Brewer’s study is clear: A lot of moaning occurs when there isn’t much lớn moan about after all.

The only question I had left, & maybe most important khổng lồ me of all, was whether or not I was actually missing out on something by not being vocal. Did sound do more than just communicate & in fact actually enhance the sex experience?

“Obviously no one has ever died from not making sex sounds,” Barbara Carrellas, a sex educator và the author of Urban Tantra, assured me, “but they add so much lớn the erotic experience.” She explained that if you’re not making sounds, then you’re probably not breathing very much, và breath is absolutely critical for an expanded orgasmic experience. “All sex is about energy & sound brings energy,” she said. “I mean that in the physics sense, not in the woo-woo sense.”

I’d always felt that I should make sounds only if they were so powerful that they could not otherwise be stopped — that’s the only way I felt that my sex sounds would be authentic. The physical sensations, in my mind, had lớn lead khổng lồ the audible.

I spoke with an inordinate number of people — voice teachers, prenatal yoga coaches, sound healers, Taoist gurus, và even a group of women who Hotline themselves sensualists; they spkết thúc a large part of each day having orgasms. It was unanimous. Every single one of them lauded the sex sound. They weren’t advising khổng lồ bởi vì it lớn please a partner or khổng lồ playact sexy & over-the-top lượt thích a sexpot porn star; they believed that our own chất lượng sound — whatever that may be for each one of us — could legitimately exp& our own pleasure.

Over the next few days, I digested all this information, and some surprising emotions emerged. Even though being loud had obvious advantages & was something that I’d aspired khổng lồ since a young age, I began to lớn feel righteous about my place in the vocal continuum. I felt like one of the little guys who must st& up stoically for a different way of life. I even thought about starting a silent-sex chat room in order to give sầu tư vấn to lớn other silent sexers all over the world. We could bvà together và petition for our kind khổng lồ be represented in Hollywood films.

But then one evening my curiosity got the better of me — I decided lớn vì it like a baboon.


I’d warned Dave that things might be different, but he wasn’t prepared for what happened that night. He laughed a lot. I laughed, too. It was uncomfortable. I sounded a bit like Pee-wee Herman trying to lớn use a toothpick to lớn till a large garden. No one told me that it might take a while lớn find my sex voice, but as with most art forms, I think that it’s true.

I’d spoken to lớn sex therapist Nan Wise, & I’d asked her why a woman might not make a lot of sound. First, she theorized that this woman might be repressed, but then she said something else I found quite insightful. “Maybe she wants lớn concentrate on her own sensations,” she’d said. “It can be a way to be focused on the inside, on what’s going on for you.”

I liked that reason & it resonated.

When people go blind, their other senses often pichồng up the slaông xã, leaving them, for example, with super ultrasonic bat levels of hearing. Maybe if you aren’t busy hollering during sex, you have sầu the space in your brain lớn develop advanced sensory sensitivity in your vagimãng cầu.

I’m not saying I’m not a little repressed as well. I’m obviously a little repressed. I also refuse to lớn vày karaoke or let loose on a dance floor without giving myself alcohol poisoning first. I guess what I’m saying is that I’ll keep experimenting with sound — I will — but at my core, I’m a silent sexer for life.